You are afraid of the pain in you, and so whenever there is a gap in your day, you fill it up with books or television so these blocks of suffering do not come up to the surface.
That is what most of us do. It’s a policy of embargo. You do your best to forget what is inside you, and consume whatever is available to help you do that. In this way you create bad psychological circulation, and mental problems will soon appear. While you are sleeping, accumulations of suffering will reveal themselves to you in your dreams. They cry out for help, but you continue to practice suppression and repression.
Thich Nhat Hanh, You Are Here
My therapist uses the framing device of the Window of Tolerance.
It’s the mental space where you’re able to function without triggering your fight/flight/freeze reflex. Plus or minus however far from your baseline mental state gives you that window. If the window is small, it’s easier to get pulled away from what you want to do, or what you’re trying to pay attention to.
You’re never going to stay within your window of tolerance 24/7, but the things I’m trying to pay more attention to are expanding my window (by spending more time staying with things that feel challenging or overwhelming to tell myself that I’m okay) and looking for ways to actually recharge so I can move myself back within that window (deep breaths over doomscrolling, etc.).
Because this isn’t about seeking out discomfort. Pain and frustration will find you on their own. Having a good wallow in something you know will make you angry is a different issue.
This morning I was thankful to my past self for loading up the dishwasher before bed, even though I was really tired, because it made the morning easier. Maybe that’s part of the attitude I need to take to support this: I’d rather feel gratitude toward my past self than pass off another burden to Future Chris. It took a little more effort to choose dishes over lying in bed, but the effort felt possible.
This Builds Character 